Keep it simple

I’m a big fan of plain English on websites for a wide variety of reasons, most of which boil down to reaching the widest audience possible. While there are of course instances where more flowery language is appropriate, communicating important information is not usually one of them.

So if there’s an easier way to say something, use it. And this is what went through my mind as I was browsing the Climate Action website today, when I saw its strapline:

Assisting business towards carbon neutrality

As the platform is produced in partnership with the United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP), I think it’s fair to assume the target audience is at least Europe-wide. The majority of those people will speak English as a second language.

Even though English is my native language, I still need a split second to unravel the meaning, which isn’t ideal. In addition, the wording has a distinct whiff of ‘corporate speak’. I think the following is clearer while still saying exactly the same thing:

Helping business become carbon neutral

What’s your opinion?

Fix-It Friday (No. 3): Energy Institute

Fix-It Friday is a series of posts where I show how a website page can be improved by applying a few web copywriting principles. My primary aim is to make visitors’ lives easier.

Within just an hour, it’s possible to make a page more readable, accessible and search friendly. I also explain what else I’d do if I had more time. Look at the difference a web copywriter can make!

The Energy Institute (EI) is the professional body for the energy industry. It develops and shares knowledge, skills and good practice, while supporting over 14,000 individuals and 300 companies across 100 countries.

The EI website looks great — modern, fresh, professional and easy to navigate. I’m going to look at its ‘About us’ page from a web copywriting perspective.

• Web page before (image)
• Good points
• Could do better
• Web page after (image)
• Fixes made in one hour
• If I had more than an hour, I’d…

Web page before

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

Good points

• Individual <title> tags for each page
• Use of H1 tag for page heading
• Contains plenty of well-written information, including who the EI serves and its purpose
• Some links to other pages on the website
• A web-friendly list is used
• The page URL is descriptive
• ‘Skip to content’ link included for accessibility
• Alt tags used correctly on images that contain information, e.g. the EI logo

Could do better

• No sub titles used to break up the text, which is wordy and dense in appearance
• Copy would benefit from better formatting, such as shorter paragraphs and more lists
• Key phrases need highlighting in <strong> tags for both reader and search benefits
• No alt tags for primary-level navigation; it disappears when images are disabled!
• The “description” and “keywords” elements exist but haven’t been used
• Image alt tags used in places that don’t need them, e.g. “Banner” on banner image (no information is contained within)
• The <title> tag could be tweaked to greater effect

Web page after

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

Fixes made in one hour

• Simplified and shortened sentences for easier reading and to be more ‘web friendly’
• Cut out some text duplicated on other pages
• Improved the layout and presentation of the copy
• Added sub titles in appropriate H2 header tags to clearly identify the main sections
• Added further links from key phrases to both internal and external web pages
• Highlighted other key words and phrases in <strong> tags
• Placed suitable information into proper lists

If I had more than an hour, I’d…

• Further review and simplify the language used (e.g. ‘share’ instead of ‘disseminate’) — ‘plain English’ considering the EI’s global audience
• Write “description” and “keywords” tags
• Review image alt tags
• Make sure links are also underlined (not just highlighted in a different colour) for accessibility reasons
• Review the <title> element slightly
• Maybe add anchor links from the top of the page to each H2 header, as the page is quite long

Do you want me to make over a page on your website? If you’d like to suggest a site for me to consider, get in touch!

Fix-It Friday (No. 2): World Economic Forum

Fix-It Friday is a new series of posts where I show how a website page can be improved by applying a few web copywriting principles. My primary aim is to make visitors’ lives easier.

Within just an hour, it’s possible to make a page more readable, accessible and search friendly. I also explain what else I’d do if I had more time. Look at the difference a web copywriter can make!

The World Economic Forum (WEF) is an independent, not-for-profit and international organisation. Its aim is to improve ‘the state of the world by engaging leaders in partnerships to shape global, regional and industry agendas’.

I’m going to look at the WEF’s ‘Social media: Twitter’ page from a web copywriting perspective.

• Web page before (image)
• Good points
• Could do better
• Web page after (image)
• Fixes made in one hour
• If I had more than an hour, I’d…

Web page before

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

Good points

• Individual <title> tags for each page
• Sub titles are used to break the text up
• Clearly describes what users can expect (including benefits) if they follow the Twitter feed
• Good number of links to both internal and external web pages
• The page URL is descriptive

Could do better

• Header tags (H1, H2, etc) haven’t been used for title and sub title elements
• The text is wordy and dense in appearance
• Copy would benefit from better formatting
• Key phrases need highlighting in <strong> tags
• There doesn’t appear to be a “description” or “keywords” element
• The <title> tag could be tweaked to greater effect

Web page after

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

Fixes made in one hour

• Simplified the language — ‘plain English’ (considering the WEF’s global audience)
• Improved the order, layout and presentation of the copy
• Placed all titles into appropriate header tags
• Added additional sub titles to break up text
• Added further links from key phrases where appropriate
• Highlighted other key words and phrases in <strong> tags
• Placed suitable information into proper lists
• Moved the image and added a greater margin

If I had more than an hour, I’d…

• Write “description” and “keywords” tags
• Review the <title> element

Note: Within the copy, I did not change ‘organized’ to ‘organised’ because this appears to be the WEF’s house style.

Do you want me to make over a page on your website? If you’d like to suggest a site for me to consider, get in touch!

Fix-It Friday (No. 1): Dulas

Fix-It Friday is a new series of posts where I show how a website page can be improved by applying a few web copywriting principles. My primary aim is to make visitors’ lives easier.

Within just an hour, it’s possible to make a page more readable, accessible and search friendly. I also explain what else I’d do if I had more time. Look at the difference a web copywriter can make!

Dulas provides professional renewable energy services from its base in the heart of Wales. I like its website; the design’s fresh, modern and uncluttered, with clear navigation.

I’ve decided to look at the ‘About Dulas’ page from a web copywriting perspective.

• Web page before (image)
• Good points
• Could do better
• Web page after (image)
• Fixes made in one hour
• If I had more than an hour, I’d…

Web page before

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

Good points

• Individual <title> and <description> tags for each page
• Use of H1 tag for page heading
• Well written, interesting information
• Sub titles used to break the text up

Could do better

• There’s too much information: the page is very long
• The text is wordy in places and there are a couple of errors
• Copy needs better formatting
• The sub titles are in <strong> tags; they’d be better in H2 headers
• Text contains no links to other pages within the website or externally
• The page URL is not descriptive
• The <description> tag needs a bit of tweaking

Web page after

(Click on the image for a larger version.)

Fixes made in one hour

• Lightly edited the copy to simplify wording and ‘front load’ the text
• Removed some information that could sit better elsewhere
• Placed current sub titles into H2 header tags
• Added additional sub titles to break up text further
• Added links from key phrases to relevant pages both within the website and externally
• Highlighted other key words and phrases in <strong> tags
• Placed listed information into proper lists

If I had more than an hour, I’d…

• Edit or rewrite the text to simplify it, focus the information and reduce page length considerably…
• …and/or add in-page links at the top of the page to jump to relevant sections (visitors can see straight away the page content without scrolling, plus the usual benefits)
• Rewrite the <description> tag
• Add more links from the text to help users navigate throughout the website
• Consider the page and its section as a whole, and as an integral part of the complete website

Do you want me to make over a page on your website? If you’d like to suggest a site for me to consider, get in touch!

Comic Sans as you never imagined

We all know that it’s not just what we write that’s important, it’s also how it looks. An inappropriate font can completely knock a message off course, rendering our communication out of touch or even invisible.

So what personality would you give the fonts you use? Is Times New Roman a dependable, retired Colonel with a moustache? Or maybe you prefer Calibri, a slightly hipper cousin of Arial, but still serious enough to roll out in front of the boss?

Is this how you see Times New Roman? Or maybe not...

Well, you might well be misreading your font’s personality – poor, misunderstood little guy. Or, actually, maybe he doesn’t give a damn, because he’s Comic Sans, asshole. (His words, not mine.)

Phew, who’d have thought that he’d be such a feisty one? Thanks be to @vickysquires for sending this to me. Made my day.

Maintaining the tone in every contact

If your website’s main content has a consistent tone throughout, that’s great; but don’t forget those other points of contact with your readers or customers. This might be rarely needed web pages (such as the 404 error page) or following up on an order.

I recently ordered a couple of t-shirts online from howies, and the company’s warm, informal tone (with a hint of dry wit) continued throughout the process. It really felt as though one person was speaking to me throughout.

For example, from the order confirmation:

A big thanks for your order [...] We will be burning the midnight oil to make sure your order is dealt with to make sure you’re not waiting too long! (By the way your card will not be charged until your stuff leaves our warehouse.) [...] A despatch confirmation e-mail will be sent to you as your order leaves us down here.

And from the despatch email:

Just thought you’d like to know your order is heading out of Cardigan Bay as we speak. And it’s heading your way. With luck and a good tailwind, it should be with you in the next day or so [...] If you ever come down to Cardigan Bay, please let us know and we will put the kettle on.

(However, I’d be curious to know if they really do welcome customers in for a cup of tea if they happen to be in the area. Whatever you write, it should be sincere.)

So, don’t forget all those little words that reach your customers, from email signatures and out-of-office replies through to rarely-read-but-required web pages (here’s a nice selection of creative aforementioned error pages).

I’m not sure what you’re on about…

Nice rant in the newspaper recently about the art world’s inability to discuss its works in a way that normal people can understand. But as one poster so accurately put it:

It’s not just the art field; it’s most fields. People should be able to express complex ideas plainly, but they confuse complexity of language with complexity of thought. Or maybe they just aren’t saying anything real or don’t know what they’re trying to say. As Mr. Canter says, abstract nouns are one hallmark of empty writing.

Lots of companies are guilty of doing this with their web copy, for example. They think that by using longer words where simpler ones would do, they make their offering sound superior.

It doesn’t though. It alienates a lot of people and confuses them…

I can certainly remember reading descriptions about art shows and not really understanding what was being said. It went over my head, I assumed the show wasn’t for me and so I didn’t go. Imagine if that’s what your web copy’s doing to people who visit your site.

Writer? Then you’ll know Muphry’s Law

Nope, it’s not a typo. But if you’re somebody who writes for a living you’ll more than likely be well acquainted with Muphry’s Law. Earlier this week was the first time I’d heard about it, but I found myself chuckling inwardly and nodding my head sagely.

Muphry’s Law as defined by Wikipedia is:

…an adage that states that ‘if you write anything criticising editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written’. The name is a deliberate misspelling of ‘Murphy’s law’

The law states that:

(a) if you write anything criticising editing or proofreading, there will be a fault of some kind in what you have written;
(b) if an author thanks you in a book for your editing or proofreading, there will be mistakes in the book;
(c) the stronger the sentiment expressed in (a) and (b), the greater the fault;
(d) any book devoted to editing or style will be internally inconsistent.

I know I’ve been there: that sinking feeling as you read the introduction email you sent out last week, only to notice a typo in the text. Or the copy on your website, with an obvious (well, to everybody else but you) mistake in the title. Seeing, wood, trees, anyone?

We’re only human, of course, but for some reason that’s an excuse copywriters and editors can rarely use without meeting a snort of derision… Would love to read about any of your wordy foul (maybe ‘fowl’?) ups!