Hello. I’m a freelance web copywriter and editor. I create concise, accessible copy in plain English. Nice to meet you.
It’s generally recommended that justified text (set flush to both the left and right margins) should be avoided on web pages. There are two main reasons for this. Read the rest of this entry »
If your website’s main content has a consistent tone throughout, that’s great; but don’t forget those other points of contact with your readers or customers. This might be rarely needed web pages (such as the 404 error page) or following up on an order.
I recently ordered a couple of t-shirts online from howies, and the company’s warm, informal tone (with a hint of dry wit) continued throughout the process. It really felt as though one person was speaking to me throughout.
For example, from the order confirmation:
A big thanks for your order [...] We will be burning the midnight oil to make sure your order is dealt with to make sure you’re not waiting too long! (By the way your card will not be charged until your stuff leaves our warehouse.) [...] A despatch confirmation e-mail will be sent to you as your order leaves us down here.
And from the despatch email:
Just thought you’d like to know your order is heading out of Cardigan Bay as we speak. And it’s heading your way. With luck and a good tailwind, it should be with you in the next day or so [...] If you ever come down to Cardigan Bay, please let us know and we will put the kettle on.
(However, I’d be curious to know if they really do welcome customers in for a cup of tea if they happen to be in the area. Whatever you write, it should be sincere.)
So, don’t forget all those little words that reach your customers, from email signatures and out-of-office replies through to rarely-read-but-required web pages (here’s a nice selection of creative aforementioned error pages).
Nice rant in the newspaper recently about the art world’s inability to discuss its works in a way that normal people can understand. But as one poster so accurately put it:
It’s not just the art field; it’s most fields. People should be able to express complex ideas plainly, but they confuse complexity of language with complexity of thought. Or maybe they just aren’t saying anything real or don’t know what they’re trying to say. As Mr. Canter says, abstract nouns are one hallmark of empty writing.
Lots of companies are guilty of doing this with their web copy, for example. They think that by using longer words where simpler ones would do, they make their offering sound superior.
It doesn’t though. It alienates a lot of people and confuses them…
I can certainly remember reading descriptions about art shows and not really understanding what was being said. It went over my head, I assumed the show wasn’t for me and so I didn’t go. Imagine if that’s what your web copy’s doing to people who visit your site.
Why faff around with pompous-sounding words that don’t help the reader and probably aren’t even used correctly? The use of ‘seeking’ has popped (maybe ‘pooped’ would be more appropriate!) up again today and it seems to be a bit of a trend in business writing.
On this occasion, it’s the Guardian’s new Sustainable Business section (a fantastic idea). It describes itself like this:
Guardian Sustainable Business is a new source of news, data and intelligence for professionals seeking to make their organisation sustainable. Powering the service is the Guardian’s leading team of editors and business analysts seeking to give you the best platform to make your business sustainable.
(Have just noticed they’ve even used it twice within this short description. Gah.)
Technically, it can be used in this way; my dictionary defines ‘to seek’ as ’5. to make an effort (to do something); to try or aim (to do it)’. So why not just say ‘trying’ or ‘aiming’? Keep it simple; don’t fall into the trap of trying to be too sophisticated.
And the use of ‘seeking’ in the second sentence doesn’t seem positive enough to me. They’re only ‘trying’ to provide the best platform. How about a bit of confidence, guys? You will give the best platform.
May I humbly suggest:
Guardian Sustainable Business is a new source of news, data and intelligence for professionals working to make their organisation sustainable. The Guardian’s leading team of editors and business analysts power the service, giving you the best platform possible to make your business sustainable.
What do you think? Should we all be seeking to use ‘seeking’ in our writing? Or do you think it’s a bit too weak sounding?
One of my Spanish ‘intercambio’ friends has recently booked a place on a summer course in London to improve her English (which she speaks to a good level already).
She’s also booked a room with Nido, accommodation for overseas students. She received the following email from Nido, but asked me for help because she couldn’t understand all of the details.
We are happy to inform you that your application has been successful and we have provisionally booked a room for you and your application is now pending. [Is the application successful or is it pending? This is confusing.]
In order to confirm your reservation, you will be required to make payments as outlined in your payment plan.
The refundable damage deposit and 2 weeks rent in advance is due first, shortly after receiving this acceptance email.
Please note that your damage deposit will be refunded on the same method it was paid.
A copy of your payment plan is attached.
There are three method of payments accepted:
Credit Card: Attached is a copy of the credit card authorisation form for you to fill our and send back to us via post, email or fax: +44 203 102 1001.
Bank Transfers: Bank transfers are accepted as well and a copy of our details is attached.
Cheques: If you wish to pay by cheque instead, it will need to be made payable to “Nido King’s Cross Limited” and this can be sent to us in the post to the following address:
Nido Student Living, Reservations Team, 200 Pentonville Road, London N1 9JP
PLEASE NOTE THAT WE ARE A CASHLESS BUILDING AND DO NOT ACCEPT CASH
Once all required payments have been received your booking will be confirmed and we will require the following documentation:
For further information regarding general policies, please visit our webpage: www.nidolondon.com alternatively a member of our reservations team can be contacted.
Your reservation summary is indicated below:
Name: XXXXXX
Period: 2 weeks
Check in date: XXXXX
Accommodation type: Nido single cube
Rate per week: £240.00
Payment plan: See attached excel sheet
[Table regarding 'Cancellations and refunds']
At first glance, to a native English speaker, this is pretty well written and clear (as a standard response letter). But take another look and you’ll see that there’s a lot of words that could be cut out, making the information more concise and easy to understand for the intended recipient.
In addition, this email has six attachments! That’s an overwhelming amount of information.
And why the formal approach? Nido has a funky, youthful website; why not extend this to the confirmation email, which is one of the first communications with the student coming to stay, by using an informal tone of voice?
I’d suggest the following:
Your application has been successful! We have provisionally booked a room for you. To confirm your reservation, you must make the payments listed in your personal payment plan (attached).
The refundable damage deposit and two weeks’ rent are due first; please pay them as soon as you can. After your stay with us, the damage deposit will be refunded in the same way as you pay it now.
We accept three payment methods:
Our address is: Nido Student Living, Reservations Team, 200 Pentonville Road, London N1 9JP
Please note that we do not hold cash in our building; we do not accept coins or notes.
Once we have received all of the required payments, we will confirm your booking. You then need to send us:
To find out more about our general policies, please visit www.nidolondon.com. You can also contact our reservations team, who will be happy to help you!
Your reservation summary
[Table regarding 'Cancellations and refunds']
This still isn’t perfect, but I think it’s an improvement – it’s easier to understand, simpler language and friendlier (with more use of ‘we’ and ‘you’).
These are generally thought of as things to keep in mind when writing web copy. It’s not a website, of course, but they still apply, especially as there is a large crossover of audience characteristics.
I’ll send it to my friend to see what she says and let you know! What do you think?
(PS – Dear Nido: if you happen across this post and like my suggested alternative, please contact me to request its use. Thanks very much!)
I love reading interviews with people who work with words, from copywriters to translators. It’s always interesting to find out how they got to where they are today, the path they took. Roger Horberry’s interview with Dan Germain of Innocent fame is no exception.
I think lots of writers stumble into their profession via a muddle of other roles: some are related, most are not. But it’s still refreshing to read about the success stories that many of us still spend a large proportion of (billable) hours daydreaming about…
Dan “went to university with the three chaps who founded Innocent” and started off “driving vans and delivering smoothies” before moving on to writing the ‘blurb’ on the bottles. And ten years later, he’s head of creative services. He comes out with several words of wisdom; here are my favourites.
“Brilliant copywriting doesn’t demand any explanation. It’s short and sweet and hits the spot first time.”
On golden rules for writing: “…you have your first idea – great, but don’t use it. 90% of people will have thought of that so it’ll be boring. Have another idea – great, don’t use that either. 8% of people will have thought of that. Go for the third idea – that’s what hardly anyone will have got to…”
On writing guidelines at Innocent: “…it’s mainly about being polite. Say hello, write to the person you’re speaking to, get their attention quickly and leave them with something to think about at the end.”
On escaping writer’s block: “One thing I do is start from a random word or sentence [...] like ‘the thing about squirrels is…’. It’s good to have a few opening lines like that to play with and wake you up.”
“Write lots of stuff. Keep writing. Write snappy lines and short stories. Stick your words on a blog. Try writing a bit of everything. But most importantly, just write.”
Read the interview on the wonderful www.26.org.uk, a group for writers, editors and language consultants (I’m a member!).
Lots of us have done it: we ‘read’ a post or an article that we disagree with in some way, then leave a hasty comment before speeding off to some other task. More often than not, this takes on a different tone than you intended. So what is correct etiquette when leaving a comment?
I started thinking about this yesterday, after doing exactly what I describe above. I followed a link in an e-newsletter and read the article (about unscrupulous SEO practices) like a typical web user: scanning for bits of interest, jumping from header to header.
I disagreed with several elements, so I left what I thought was a level, reasonable comment:
I think that many businesses do not understand what SEO is and how it can actually benefit their business. While ‘black hat’ SEO practices do exist and are unethical, this is a missed opportunity to explain what SEO is, how it can help small businesses and provide some positive tips, rather than focusing on the negative aspects.
When I came back to it to see if the writer had responded, I reread my comment with fresh eyes. Yikes; it actually sounded pretty rude. The writer had indeed answered my comment helpfully, so I commented again to say ‘thanks for your time’, using some of the manners I should have used at first.
So, where did I go wrong? I do normally comment politely, so even from my own perspective I should have:
I didn’t, however, do any of this. As a result, the comment that sounded balanced in my mind, actually sounds abrupt and lacking in courtesy when on the page. Additional tips include:
Anyway, I’m pretty nosey too and saw that the writer is also on Twitter. I saw one of their Tweets which, based on the timing, I think was about my comment:
Quite annoyed at commenters who a) lack humour and b) skip to the end to comment without bothering to read the feature. GRRR.
Ouch. Yep, think I deserved that.
I write blog posts and articles, so I know how much time and effort goes into putting one together. Even if you have a different point of view to the author, remember that they’ve probably put a lot of work into their article. So, if you leave a comment, be polite and contribute to the conversation.
Here are a couple of other good posts to read on comment etiquette:
One of the first rules of web copywriting is to use plain English, to give every reader the best chance of understanding your content. Your website is available to the entire world and will have visitors who have a first language different to your own. Don’t forget, however, that native speakers also have differing reading and writing abilities.
Writing in a simple, clear style benefits all users; it makes your website easier to read and understand (communicating your messages more effectively). Concise copy fulfils accessibility requirements for both people and search engines, making your website also easier to find.
The W3C’s WCAG 2.0 has a reading level criterion that says if the ‘text requires reading ability more advanced than the lower secondary education level’, a version that is not more advanced should also available.
This caters for ‘people with reading disabilities [which may include highly educated members of the intended audience] while also allowing authors to publish difficult or complex web content’.
Some websites (and printed materials) provide services for audiences that they know speak a different first language. These sites are often well written, with this fact at the forefront of their writers’ minds. As an immigrant in Spain, I’ve been experiencing this first hand.
I’ve had to sign up to all sorts of exciting (!) government departments, ranging from the local council to social security. Naturally, I’ve tried to find out online what I need to do (I speak some Spanish; learning more).
Where the language has been simple, structured in short sentences and paragraphs, I’ve had fewer problems. (There’s also a point about website usability, in terms of expecting certain buttons in certain places, but that’s for another day.)
This has only reinforced what I already know, but it’s good to be at the receiving end to remind me.
This might seem like an obvious statement, but I’ve been mulling over this a lot today. I know I should write more regularly on this blog, but I’m finding it hard to think of things that nobody else has covered a million (okay, ‘several’) times before.
In this new world of web 2.0, ideas are created and shared faster and more regularly than ever before. Or, thinking about it, perhaps there are the same amount of ideas but they’re shared MORE?
Like any self-respecting web ‘professional’, I have a profile on the requisite hat trick of social networks (Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook). I also read a long (some might say out of control) list of blogs. Hey, I’m a copywriter; I like to read and I also like to learn.
While most of the blogs do seem to come up with new angles on the same ideas, Twitter, for example, only seems to share and not create them. It’s got to the point where several people I’m following all RT (‘return Tweet’) the same idea in the space of minutes. Are the same ideas being shared because they’re great or because there aren’t that many original ones?
So, while I’m fending off this bout of writer’s block (or blogger’s block?), I’ll just keep reading my favourite truly original blogs for inspiration…
I’m not one of those people who’s averse to using an exclamation mark. I also like commas, apostrophes and all the other types of punctuation. I don’t apologise if this sounds a bit geeky; I write for a living, so it’s right that I have an interest in how to use them to their best effect.
So, I’ve just started reading Lynne Truss‘s book, Eats, Shoots and Leaves (2003). It’s been on my mind to get hold of a copy for a little while, as it received quite a mixed reception when it was first published. Okay, it may not be for everyone, but I’m really enjoying it. The book’s a very interesting, curious account of modern-day applications of punctuation and where it all stemmed from.
It’s not an in-depth history of the development of each mark, but more of a cheerful narration on where many of them started and why they’re so necessary to our understanding of the written word. Leading on from that, the book also mentions how punctuation has contributed to different interpretations of texts, such as the Bible (even if it is a very simplified explanation!).
Truss’s tongue-in-cheek style is self-deprecating and observes the little quirks that, I suspect, many writers suffer from. If you always comment on badly-punctuated notices and signs to long-suffering friends and family (or just to your inner self, because they already refuse to come out with you), you’ll like this too.
Read some reviews and buy it online from the wonderful Amazon.
